When a friend tells you she is unexpectedly pregnant, your first instinct may be to figure out how to help. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, or you may have questions of your own about what she plans to do.
You do not need to have the perfect response. Being a dependable friend and helping her find trustworthy information can mean a great deal during an uncertain time.
Crossroads PRC offers free services and resources for women facing unexpected pregnancies. Encourage your friend to schedule an appointment, and offer to come with her if she would like the company.
Start by Hearing Her Out
Your friend may have been thinking about her pregnancy for days before telling you, or you may be the first person she has told. Either way, let her set the pace of the conversation.
Ask how she is doing and what is worrying her most. Rather than immediately sharing what you think she should do, give her the chance to put her own thoughts into words.
She may not know what she wants yet. She may change her mind about what she wants to discuss from one day to the next. You can be a good friend without having an answer for every concern she brings up.
Ask What Would Actually Help
People need different things during an unexpected pregnancy, so don’t assume you know what your friend needs.
Ask her directly. Does she want help researching resources? Would she like someone to accompany her to an appointment? Is she worried about telling her parents or partner? Would having company for an afternoon help take her mind off everything?
Specific offers can also be easier to accept than saying, “Let me know if you need anything.”
Don’t Add Another Opinion to the Pile
Your friend may already be hearing strong opinions from her partner, parents, or other friends. Even if you have definite feelings about what you would do, remember that you aren’t the one making this pregnancy decision.
You can encourage her to learn about parenting, adoption, and abortion, and ask questions about each. Help her find reliable information rather than relying on social media, stories from friends, or her own assumptions.
Most importantly, remind her that she has time to learn what each option involves.
Keep Being Her Friend
Pregnancy doesn’t need to become the subject of every conversation you have.
Invite her to do the things you normally enjoy together. Check in after an appointment. Remember an important date she mentioned. Offer help with errands when you can.
Consistent friendship often matters more than knowing exactly what to say.
Help Her Find Additional Support
You aren’t expected to meet every need yourself. Crossroads PRC can provide information and connect your friend with additional resources based on her circumstances.
If someone you know is facing an unexpected pregnancy, encourage her to schedule a free appointment with us today.
Your friendship can be an important part of her support system, and you don’t have to be her only source of help.